When I first set out to write this blog, I had so many idea's on what to talk about and things to create for it, but the more I think about it the less motivation I have to work on it. I am amazed at the people who can sit and write post after post and have pictures that correspond with the posts, but I come to realize that I am just not that type of person.
I find that Christmas and the end of the year is such a great time to sit and reflect on the past year. To be frank, this year sucked for me, however I have had worse years. The hardest thing for me to deal with is the switch to a gluten-free lifestyle. Don't get me wrong it's such an amazing change and I am glad that I have to start thinking about what I am eating. I am eating much healthier and although spending more money on food, I find that cutting the fake out has really helped me feel better and help my body function better.
The temptation is the the hardest to deal with. I work at a daycare and during the holiday's parents bring in baked goods for the teachers. I slipped up more times then I should have and I really paid the price for it. My stomach was not happy with me the first few days, then this weekend I went into a major depression which is really hard because it was Christmas time.
I was excited at first because it was Christmas and all the gifts that I bought people and I did treats for all my coworkers and I was very proud of myself, but Christmas afternoon I lost it! I was exhausted. I found that consuming gluten aids in me not sleeping very soundly. When I don't sleep my ADHD goes into overdrive and I can't focus at all, I loose my temper very easily and just want to punch people and throw things. That is how I felt on Christmas, I locked myself in the shower bawling my eyes out and avoiding the temptation to bash my head against the wall. I felt ashamed and embarrassed for snapping at my loved ones because "they got what they wanted for Christmas and apparently I was put on the naughty list because all i got was a coffee cup and slippers, and they got a kindle, ipod, or nook." It bothered me. I was annoyed at the fact people where focusing on what they got and not what they gave; it was consumerism in overdrive. It really bothered me.
My mood didn't lighten up until last night after eating only gluten free. Today I felt great- resisting the candy cane bark that was sitting on the counter. I realized that I can't treat my body like this anymore. I can't put garbage into it and expect things to run smoothly. I need to take charge and stay focused. Saying no to someone offering a treat may hurt them for a split second, but it will hurt my body for much longer. JUST SAY NO THANK YOU.
p.s. could someone suggest a cheap gluten-free lotion? My hands are so dry I think they may start bleeding, but all my lotions have gluten in them (makes my hands crack, bleed and rash up)
